When corporates control everything, it’s your duty to stick it to The Man with a swig or three of this highly potent spiced apple punch.
You’ll need
- 80 ml (2.5 oz) Filtered Apple Juice
- 80 ml (2.5 oz) US-style Apple Cider
- 1 tsp Brown Sugar
- 1 tsp White Sugar
- 0.5 tsp Ground Cinnamon
- 20 ml (0.5 oz) Whipped Cream Vodka
- 15ml (0.5 oz) 95% Proof Alcohol
Add all ingredients except the alcohol to a saucepan. Bring to a boil, remove from heat and leave to simmer for 10 minutes. Strain out the cinnamon and allow to cool. To a mixing glass filled with ice, add the apple juice mixture and the alcohols. Stir until chilled. Strain into your vessel, garnish with an apple peel, and serve!
“Need an escape? Try Concentrated Distillate!”
– Handwritten on the side of a mason jar full of Concentrated Distillate.
Concentrated Distillate isn’t a video game cocktail that I’ve pulled out of my own twisted mind: this is an honest-to-goodness in-game, full-on, explicitly spelled out cocktail recipe. God it’s nice when things are easy.
At least, it was easy right up until I saw the requirement for 95% ethanol. Then it got scary.
See for yourself: this is a recipe that calls for full-on laboratory-grade ethanol: a full bottle of it. It’s an unusual component, but it makes sense considering this is a recipe from a secret underground distillery, hidden away in the corner of a lab.
Anything that calls for something so over-proofed immediately gets me concerned – though not as concerned as the fact the recipe in-game mixes imperial and metric as well as volume and weight. Yuck.
Putting that aside, this looks like a solid drink at first glance. But how good could a video game cocktail recipe really be? Just in case it was terrible, when testing, I reduced the total amount from 10 litres in one go to a more reasonable 2-3 person serving, and we fixed the measurement faux pas as well for maximum legibility.
Turns out that lack of confidence was unwarranted. It’s a pretty dang good dram.
Looking for another high-proof treat? Try Ryncol from Mass Effect.
It’s a little too sweet and could do without the extra sugar, but otherwise it’s a perfectly decent spiced apple punch – if a little more potent than what most people are probably expecting! I particularly like the addition of the whipped cream vodka. I particularly like the addition of the whipped cream vodka – though I suspect you could switch it over for vanilla instead and not lose out on much complexity.
I suspect this is somebody’s real-life recipe that has been inserted into the game; perhaps a writer, or a developer. It makes too much sense and tastes too right to be an off-the-cuff lol-let’s-just-throw-a-cocktail-recipe-in-there random Easter egg.
So, Mr Writer or Mr Developer, congrats on making a decent beverage! And thanks for sharing it with us in such a fun way. Cheers!
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