Try this Astartes-tested, Emperor-approved cocktail that fuses sweet, savoury and bitters into a drink capable of melting anybody’s social armour.
You’ll need
- 1 oz (30ml) Wild Turkey
- .50 oz (15ml) Cointreau
- 1 oz (30ml) Dolin red vermouth
- .50 oz (15ml) Campari
- Lemonade to top
Add the Wild Turkey and Cointreau to a Collins glass without ice. Top up with chilled lemonade to the halfway point. Add the Campari and red vermouth to a separate shot glass. When you’re ready, drop the shot glass in the Collins glass, and chuck it back in one. Bonus point if you shout “For the Emperor!” first.
“While they are not designed to serve as anti-personnel mines, anyone unfortunate enough to be on the other side of a surface that a Melta Bomb is attached to will still take possibly mortal wounds from the searing heat as the unleashed Melta beam blasts through into the room or compartment.”
– Melta Bomb wargear description.
Warhammer 40k has a little bit of something for everybody. There’s the collecting, the painting, the tabletop, the community and, my personal favourite, the lore. Even if you aren’t fans of the models (or, like me, simply can’t afford them), you can still read the books, play the video games or enjoy the many, many dank memes available at a subreddit near you.
But despite the multitude of ways to experience Warhammer, there’s always one overarching constant: “in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war”. No grimdark? No 40k.
That’s why I decided to make a Melta Bomb: it is, to me, a prime example of ‘grimdark’. It’s an everyday horror for members of the Imperial Gu- I mean, Astra Militarum.
It’s a weapon designed to melt through armour but the item description goes out of its way to tell you how easily it can turn a person into goop if you get caught in the blast radius. Fusion powered destruction that fits in a backpack, wielded by a man or woman who doesn’t know how it works, only that it will kill them in the blink of an eye if they mess up—and all that will be remembered of their passing is a smudge of gore on the Commissar’s boot.
If that ain’t grimdark, I don’t know what is.
The alcoholic version won’t turn you into a puddle (unless you have too many of them), but does use the fusion of bourbon, Campari, vermouth and Cointreau to serve up a surprisingly potent (but still tasty) Melta Bomb that is best delivered with the theatre of a bomb cocktail.
If you aren’t a fan of the lemonade, ditch it and serve it all up in a martini glass instead. Who says Warhammer can’t be fancy?
Hope you guys enjoy!
More a fan of Warhammer Fantasy? Try the Chaos Spawn inspired by Vermintide 2 instead.
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